Summer is here and it’s time for travel and adventure! But, what happens if you and your partner can’t agree on where to go? I’ve recently been asked if traveling solo while you are in a relationship can affect strengthens your bond, or weakens it. I believe that solo travel is a win-win.

If you learn your partner can’t tolerate you having an independent excursion, you have the opportunity to address what may have been a long latent seed of co-dependency. Their discomfort with your temporary separation may indicate you’ve hit upon a raw nerve. This may indicate, for example, unprocessed fears of abandonment, or early history of insecure attachment and the fact that these issues have not been sufficiently dealt-with, can create the cognitive distortion of projection, which may take the form of jealousy, or resentment. If left to fester, this dynamic can grow into an unhealthy, codependent relationship.

On the flip side, if your partner is cool with your solo travel, you potentially have a partner on your hands who has enough ego strength to be trusting, respectful of personal boundaries and not burdened with the unrealistic expectation that you should be everything to your partner, or that’s it’s even possibly for one person to meet another’s every need. The travel itself is the garnish on your Smörgåstårta - you've broadened your perspective of the world, created lifelong memories and have had a chance to miss and appreciate your significant other.

Bon voyage!