During times of great upheaval, there’s a sense that we should “to live today as it were your last.” This sounds really appealing, but what does it really mean? Practically speaking, the world couldn’t sustain widespread carpe diem. Why wash the dishes? Study for final exams? Save for retirement? We still need spend some of our present, building our future.

Spiritually speaking, living each day as your last isn’t bestowing worldly possessions and checking-off bucket lists, but about holistic integrity. As Adlai Stevenson famously said, “it is not the years in your life, but the life in your years.” The following are topics of contemplation, calls to action and operating instructions for more mindful living. Try using one of these teachings a week as a focus for your meditation, as journal prompts, or for deepening conversations with loved ones.

1. Self Compassion - The word “practice” is often used before compassion, because like a muscle, it grows stronger with use. Vanquish the ever elusive ideal of perfection, the concept itself sets you up to fail. There’s only the best we can do and learning from missteps. Today: Love yourself, for all your flaws. Forgiving yourself is the foundation from which we may forgive other. Self-compassion is self-love plus the deep knowledge that everyone suffers. Your flaws connect you to every human throughout history. Be gentle with yourself, as you would your most cherished friend. Mantra: Live and learn.

2. Love & Patience - Who do you love? How do they know? Different loving relationships bring different joy and challenges. Our loved ones test our patience like none other, but also bestow transformative joy. As we survive strife and still maintain our love and kindness, our heart grows and expands to accommodate a more holistic understanding of the world. We awaken to the bittersweet nature of Love that is grounded in reality. No one is put on this planet to serve you, but together, with love, we serve each other. Today: When triggered, give your loved ones the benefit of the doubt. Breathe deeply. Note your defensive responses without judgement. Remain curious. What is your loved one trying convey? What is the nature of your personal powder keg beyond the trigger? Mantra: Heartache is growing pains of the heart.

3. Essence - Who are you? What do you love? What turns you on & what do you turn to? Despite what life throws our way, the people we meet, the circumstances we find ourselves, our inner core is unchanging. Our essence is the deeper, more integral expression of who we are. Today: Take the first steps in pursuing the thing you have always felt drawn to do. Feel the fear and breathe through it, as you engage past your comfort zone. The artist, activist, scholar, sailor in you is looking to break free. The discomfort of the novice, is better than the regret of never trying. Manta: I am capable of more than I know.

4. Lose the Blame - My dad had a mug that read, “Don’t let the turkeys get you down”, with an illustration of a rafter of turkeys on a prostrate elephant. I suspected I was supposed to feel for the pachyderm, but I felt worse for the birds. They looked like hapless creature looking to connect. Today: Are you the elephant or the tukey? Are you surrounded by creature with dubious social skills? Are you blamed for causing problems when you meant to do good? Are there patterns to your challenges? Mantra: There are two sides to every story.

5. Examine Judgements - Humans are judgmental. We inhabit a dualist reality; things are this, or they are that, we are good, they are bad. There’s a comfort to classifications, but dangers abound. Snap judgements don’t allow for curiosity or allow for mutualistic conversation. Today: Using radical honesty coupled with self-compassion, recognize when judgmental thoughts arise. Mind reading is impossible, dwell in the truth that you’ll never really know what others are thinking. We are all human, judgments will arise. Practice creating enough distance between yourself and your judgements, to make room for the truth. Mantra: There’s always more than meets the eye.

6. Radical Honesty - Self-righteous is the most addictive flavor of anger. The fire that fuels this self-perpetuating flame, is usually shame, or jealousy. We’ve all heard the saying that we hate most in others, is what we dislike most in ourselves. When you sting at being slighted, how is that related to what you fear, or dislike most in yourself. Today: Examine whether your anger response is appropriate to a situation, or smoke from an inner fire. One reliable source, is fear of the unknown and fear of abandonment. Take care of the child within, who resonates with raw innocence, strong emotions like fear, shame, joy and sadness. Mantra: I am loveable, my core is calm.

7. Challenge Anger - We see this in played out in clearly in xenophobia (“Immigrants are to blame for the poverty”) and homophobia (“Homosexuals are a danger to traditional families.”). When we are feeling scared, or threatened, we look to scapegoats and they are almost always ones who are already marginalized and easy targets, that way we can use the momentum of society to stoke a hearty head of steam. Today: Identify whether you are owning your anger, or blaming others for your circumstances. Anger is a healthy emotion and is not inherently bad. It’s placing it where is doesn’t belong and letting it boil over into hatred and violence that makes it so. Mantra: May my anger can be a power for positive change.

8. Recognize your Wholeness - When we feel we are not enough, our wholeness is simply not being fully illuminated. Accept you are whole, you are enough, even if it’s sometimes hard to see. Forgive yourself. Forgive the times you tried, but failed, or didn’t try hard enough. Forgive yourself for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, or for saying nothing at all. Notice that as you forgive, you make room for a fuller, version of yourself, replete with beautiful scars and human flaws. Use regrets only to learn. As plants grow in sunlight, so do our wounds heal with self-compassion. Let your shadow side into the light. Today: Ask yourself, when you fell short of your best intentions, what was standing in your way? With self-compassion + radical honesty, you can look at your behaviors without shame. When you can love your imperfections, a better course of action will reveal itself to you. Mantra: Shame is an indulgence. I choose courageous change.

No one will be on their deathbed wishing they’d given their neighbor a piece of their mind for leaving a mess in the yard. There are deeper things we yearn for, that define who we are and who we want to be in the world. There is a Jewish saying that admonishes us, that it is not our job to save the world, but that we must never stop trying. Everyday, there are countless opportunities to learn, grow and let your light shine through.